


Like I Can

by JaeKi05



Category: B.A.P
Genre: HimLo - Freeform, M/M, Smut, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-01 21:34:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5221718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaeKi05/pseuds/JaeKi05
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junhong has long had a crush on the man his brother uses.  He finally decides to step up and let him know how he feels.</p><p>*Very loosely based on Sam Smith's Like I Can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Junhong’s lip curled as he watched the arrogant smile cross his brother’s face as whoever was on the other end of the phone – he was sure it was Himchan – agreed to come over for dinner. Doubtless his idea of dinner was going to be ordering pizza or takeout and then straight to fucking. Junhong hated that he always got his way. Why couldn’t Himchan ever tell him no? He wanted to lash out, to punch his brother until that damn smile was gone and only a bruise and maybe a bit of blood remained to remind him his little brother watched out for Himchan even when the idiot couldn’t manage it for himself. But he didn’t. The one time he had ever punched Yongguk was the only time Himchan had stopped talking to him. He had begged and groveled for nearly two weeks before the coal-eyed beauty would speak to him again. It hadn’t even had anything to do with Himchan that time.

“Think you can make yourself scarce tonight, kiddo?” Junhong’s jaw worked as he struggled to contain the immediate protest and biting response to the nickname. Despite being in college and finally adding sculpted muscle to his still rather lanky frame Yongguk continued to treat him like a child, only irritating him further.

“I have homework.” He answered begrudgingly. That certainly didn’t help the mature, adult image he wanted to portray at all. Oh well. Homework was his unavoidable reality for the time being. Besides, it was the perfect excuse to refuse to leave the house tonight. Not that it would stop Yongguk at all. His presence had never stopped Yongguk from doing what he wanted with who he wanted.

“So? Go to a coffee shop and do it there.” His brother argued before heading to the kitchen. 

Junhong practically growled his protest. “I like doing it here.”

He didn’t like when Yongguk came home from his business trips. Not only had his brother turned into a conceited jackass, he continued pulling Himchan’s strings and leaving Junhong with the mess when he left. Himchan had trailed after the elder since high school, but only after they entered university had Yongguk allowed it to go further than friendship. Junhong thought they were dating until the first time Himchan had woken up alone in Yongguk’s bed and come out to find only Junhong in the apartment the two shared. That had also been the first time Junhong skipped his classes to spend all day comforting and distracting Himchan from his douchebag of a brother. From there it became a trend, Junhong coming to the rescue every time Himchan was left alone and hurt which only seemed to increase over the years, especially once Yongguk got his promotion and began travelling so much. He could never figure out why Himchan kept coming over and doing what Yongguk wanted.

“Fine, your choice. You know the drill.” The elder quipped as he dropped down next to him on the couch, beer in hand.

“You don’t have to be such an ass to him. Invite one of your other ones over to play with.” Junhong snatched the remote from Yongguk’s hand, ignoring the sharp flick to his temple. 

Yongguk chuckled as he tipped the beer back. “Be careful. Your crush is showing.”

The younger elbowed him hard in the stomach, causing beer to spray over Yongguk. “What the fuck, Junhong?”

“It doesn’t have to be a crush for me to be a decent human being. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”

 

……

 

“Hey, Junhongie.” Himchan’s smile had his stomach flipping, and a rush of warmth going through him as Himchan’s arms came around him in a much too brief hug. 

Junhong wrapped the elder in a tight hug, holding on longer than necessary. Himchan was used to his prolonged moments of affection and only continued to cling to him. “He’s been back a couple weeks. Why’s tonight the first night I’m seeing you?”

Okay, he shouldn’t have told Himchan that, but he was petty sometimes and if letting Himchan know a number of men and women had already been paraded around the apartment before Yongguk turned to him helped the man put some distance between them then he considered it worth it. He could see how the information rattled the elder when he pulled back, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, smile small and slightly wobbly. “Guess you’d have to ask him that. It’s good to see you, though.”

“You need to come over more when he’s not home.” Junhong pouted at the elder. “I miss you when he’s not around.”

Ah, there it was, the bright smile Junhong loved to see. “Didn’t figure you would have time in your busy schedule to put up with me.”

His heart might have a skipped a beat right then, but he ignored it. Reaching out, he smoothed back Himchan’s dark hair from his forehead. “I always have time for you.”

Himchan stared at him for a moment before Yongguk jumped in, pulling Himchan away from the younger and toward his bedroom. “Jesus, Junhong, keep it in your pants.”

 

……….

 

Junhong sent an email to all his instructors to let them know he wouldn’t be in class soon as he saw Yongguk leaving the apartment with suitcase in hand that morning. Anger fueled him as he moved around the kitchen, trying to prepare breakfast and stay quiet at the same time. Himchan would wake up and then his self-loathing would set in, and Junhong would have to convince him to stay and spend the day with him. It worse every time it happened, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why Himchan kept answering his brother’s calls.

“He’s gone, isn’t he?” The raspy, forlorn voice pulled Junhong around to see Himchan wrapped in one of Yongguk’s blankets, leaning against the wall, watching him. Junhong frowned, unable to offer any words of comfort because it was the truth. His chest ached as Himchan wiped at the tears that escaped his eyes. “Why does he always do this?”

“Because you let him.” Junhong regretted his words soon as they were out of his mouth. Himchan stared at him as though he had slapped him. “Himchan…”

“No,” Himchan murmured, shaking his head and pushing away from the wall, beginning to back away. “No, you’re right. I let him treat me like a whore, so that’s all I am. I get it; I know.”

“What? You’re not a whore. How could you even say that? I meant that you keep letting him use you, so he keeps doing it. That doesn’t make you a whore, Himchan.” Junhong protested, advancing on the elder until he could grasp one of his hands and pull him closer. 

“Doesn’t it?” He asked, looking up at the younger, desperation in his gaze.

Junhong sighed, his thumb brushing over Himchan’s jaw. His eyes roamed over the other’s features, wishing he could make them less strained. He hated seeing Himchan full of this doubt and self-loathing. “No. It makes you human.”

Himchan’s chin trembled for a moment as more tears flooded his eyes. “I don’t want to be human anymore. It just hurts.”

“It doesn’t have to.” His voice came out so low he almost didn’t hear himself, but Himchan’s stare told him he had definitely spoken aloud. 

“What are yo—“

“I’m tired of seeing you like this, Himchan. He treats you like shit, and you let him. Do you know how many people have already been here this week? You don’t deserve this. You’ve been there for him through everything, and he continues to do shit like this.” He knew he shouldn’t be ranting like this, especially not directly to Himchan, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. His mouth just wouldn’t stop moving. “Does he even take care of you? Does he make sure you’re getting something out of it or does he just fuck you till he’s done and it’s over?”

The sudden blush that crept up Himchan’s neck and face coupled with the way he jerked his eyes away, refusing to meet his had Junhong’s jaw dropping. Fury burned through him at his brother’s callousness. “Are you fucking kidding me? How can you let him do that?”

“What do you want from me, Junhong?” Himchan demanded, the tears burning his eyes frustrating him even more when coupled with Junhong’s adamant belief he was worthy of more than he was getting from Yongguk. 

“I want you to let someone take care of you.”

Himchan scoffed. “And who’s supposed to do that? I work long hours, I don’t go out often, I don’t have that many friends, and I meet even less people in a year. I can’t ju—“

“Do you trust me?” Junhong cut him off, unsure about what he was doing.

Himchan stared, blinking up at him dumbly for a moment. “What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“I—yes?” Himchan answered hesitantly, his brow furrowed as Junhong guided him backwards. The way Junhong’s eyes were trained on him, so intense and burning with something that he couldn’t quite identify but made his stomach lurch in a way he was uncomfortable with in regards to the younger man, sent a shiver down his spine. The backs of his knees hit the edge of the couch, and Junhong guided him down. His pulse skipped a beat, skittering wildly when the younger knelt between his thighs, hand rising to pull gently at the blanket he was clutching to cover his still naked body. He sounded breathless, voice wavering slightly and barely above a whisper. “What are you doing, Junhong?”

“I’m showing you how this is supposed to be.” Junhong studied him for a moment, waiting for him to protest. When nothing was forthcoming other than his obvious indecision he continued, slowly pulling the blanket from his fingers, uncovering him slowly, hoping he wouldn’t freak out if he took it slow. He leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the tender skin directly beneath Himchan’s jaw, pausing a moment to see if Himchan was going to stop him. Himchan told himself he should say something, stop him, but he wanted to know what Junhong was going to do. When he made no move to do so, Junhong continued, tracing the column of his throat, sucking lightly at the skin, tongue sliding out to swirl soothingly over the tingling flesh. 

Himchan panicked slightly when the edge of the blanket slipped entirely from his hand, leaving half of his body bare to the younger’s gaze. He reached out blindly, grasping at Junhong’s shoulder to ground himself as the younger’s mouth worked at his collarbone, teeth scraping lightly. Indecision warred within him, but still he dropped his head back against the couch, lips parting on quiet sounds he wasn’t aware he was making. A large hand sliding up the still covered thigh made him jump, startled by the touch. Calloused fingers skimming over his smooth flesh sent heat flaring up his spine, goosebumps breaking along his body. Yongguk’s touches had long since turned fleeting, quick and efficient to get Himchan how he wanted, make him pliant. They weren’t these gentle caresses that slowly built momentum, sending his pulse skyrocketing. 

A whimper escaped, his back arching up so he could press closer to Junhong when his mouth closed around a taut nipple, the moist heat sending tendrils of warmth through him. Junhong drew back, his tongue flicking lightly over the sensitive bud before suckling the flesh again, making Himchan whine. He yelped when Junhong’s hands grasped his hips and jerked him forward, closer to the edge of the couch, forcing his thighs wider to accommodate the younger’s hips. He let Junhong lean him back against the couch, watching through hooded eyes as Junhong trailed his mouth down his abdomen, the warm breath and gentle touch of his lips and tongue making his skin jump and heat flood his lower body. 

His hips jerked as fingers closed around his dick, and he reached for Junhong, fingers digging into the younger’s shoulders. He caught his lower lip between his teeth as warm breath ghosted over the head of his cock, making it twitch. He swallowed hard as Junhong looked up at him before dipping his head down, tongue flicking over the crown for a moment before he dipped down further, engulfing his length. 

“Junhong…” Himchan panted, still trying to convince himself to push the younger man away and failing. Instead his fingers threaded through soft hair, tugging sharply as his hips rutted up, seeking the wet heat of Junhong’s mouth. Junhong moaned around the thick length as he pressed down, the vibrations shooting through Himchan’s cock, dragging a whine from the elder as his head thumped against the back of the couch again. Himchan was hard and heavy on his tongue, the taste of him one he had been craving for years. Heat coursed through Junhong with every wanton sound escaping Himchan’s mouth and every pull of his hair. His fingers dug into Himchan’s thighs, forcing them wider as he continued to sink down on his cock, the head lodging at the back of his throat. He swallowed, his throat clenching around Himchan. Hips bucked up, driving Himchan’s cock deeper, cutting off his air, but he didn’t mind in the least. He moved on him the best he could under the restraint, tears leaking from his eyes, managing just enough air to continue driving Himchan closer to the edge, tongue flattening beneath the length, pressing at the vein as he stroked the base of the elder’s cock. “F-fuck, Junhongie…”

Junhong felt Himchan tense beneath his hands. He glanced up, the sight of Himchan’s lower lip caught between his teeth as he struggled, the hand not tangled in his hair clawing at the couch cushion, knuckles white, sent heat scorching through him, his own pants now painfully constricting. Hot liquid spurted down his throat as Himchan cried out, his body shuddering with the force of his orgasm. Junhong struggled to swallow it all but still some leaked from the corner of his mouth as Himchan’s hand fell away from his hair. He gave one last, strong suck to the length, ensuring he had collected every drop, the cock twitching a last time before he pulled away and rose to the couch next to Himchan. He wiped the corners of his mouth where he could feel the trails of leaked liquid. 

Himchan’s eyes were closed, his chest still rising and falling rapidly. Junhong leaned over, pulling one of the blankets over Himchan’s exposed lower half, drawing the elder’s hooded gaze. His voice was positively sinful when he managed to speak. “I don’t think we should have done this.”

The younger nodded, trying to tamp down the disappointment that rose to gnaw at his chest. He couldn’t force Himchan to accept this but knowing that didn’t make it hurt any less. He could, however, force an indulging smile to his face even if it didn’t cover all the hurt. “Do what? I just made you feel good when you were upset. You can always come to me, Himchannie.”

Something was there in the coal eyes staring back at him, but he didn’t know what it was. He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing, as he tried to figure it out, a weird feeling nagging at him. Hope managed to worm its way through him as Himchan continued to stare at him, silent, eyes sliding over his face. He whispered, almost too low for Junhong to hear. “I’ve slept with your brother, Junhong.”

Junhong chuckled, leaning in close to the elder, lips brushing the shell of his ear. “I sucked your dick anyway, and I would do it again and more. Just have to tell me what you want.”

He drew back, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to Himchan’s slack mouth before pushing up and heading back to brush his teeth. He could feel the gaze still on his back as he walked away.

When he emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later he wasn’t all that surprised the apartment was empty.


	2. Chapter Two

Himchan chewed his lower lip, rereading the message on his phone again and again. Hours had passed since he received it, and he still didn’t know how to respond or if he even should. What had he done? He should have pushed Junhong away, but even knowing he was Yongguk’s little brother did nothing to calm the butterflies that had fluttered wildly when he reacted so passionately on his behalf. Himchan had never asked him to take a side, but he had, against his own brother, all for Himchan. Junhong had made him feel treasured, something he hadn’t felt in years.

 

How was he supposed to respond to that? He wasn’t mad. Maybe he should be but he wasn’t. He was slightly ashamed he had just run from the apartment without a word to the younger. What made him any different than Yongguk? Junhong had given him an amazing blowjob, and he had left, no word of goodbye, no word of appreciation. Nothing. Junhong had held his hand as he built him up until he blissfully fell apart beneath his lips and tongue, drinking him up entirely, holding through the dizzying spiral. Nothing Junhong had done had made him feel cheap and used like each night with his brother did. He felt like he was someone precious until reality came crashing back in when it was all over. The fear that had suddenly clawed at him, closing his throat, cutting off his oxygen and left him gasping for air that wouldn’t come had torn away all reasoning, sending him scrambling for the door without a backward glance. He should have stayed.

 

He sighed, the events still weighing on him. He had just slept with Yongguk the night before, Yongguk using him until he was satisfied, leaving Himchan unsatisfied, used, and feeling worthless. Why had he allowed it to go on for so long? Even just a couple years ago their relationship hadn’t been quite like this. Yongguk would still call for him to come over, hang out for a bit, and they would end up in bed but both of them would get off, sexually satisfied even if Himchan was still left emotionally bruised. These past two years, though, had left him drained, beaten, and feeling like he was one of the most disgusting things on the planet. He had spent years pining over Yongguk, since high school at least, and for some stupid reason Himchan was still hanging on, like he expected one day for Yongguk to have some epiphany that he felt the same way.

He groaned, slamming his pillow over his face as the memory of Junhong’s fingers gliding softly over his skin invaded his mind, his body beginning to tingle and awaken at the memory alone. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had been touched so gently, but he knew Yongguk never had. Maybe by one of the guys he had dated briefly during high school while still attempting to distance himself from his crush on Yongguk. Really he thought those encounters were more fumbling lust and less gentle finesse. His teeth sank sharply into his lower lip as he let his fingers close around his hardening length, calloused skin creating delicious friction. Junhong had callouses, though not quite so many as he had, developed from his love of different musical instruments.

His eyes squeezed tightly shut as he sped up, reaching blindly into the drawer of his nightstand with his free hand, fumbling for his lubricant. Only a bit was needed to remind him of the slickness of Junhong’s mouth, a moan welling up as the memory of how his cock had felt buried deep in the younger’s throat. Sweat broke along his skin, matting his hair and making his skin slick beneath his fingers as he trailed a hand upwards, pausing long enough to twist and tease a hardened nipple before sliding higher. His fingers tangled in his own hair, tugging until his scalp tingled, hips jerking up into his hand. A whimper escaped as fantasy broke from reality, Himchan imagining the way Junhong would feel above him, body pressing him into the mattress, hips grinding down against his own, enticing him to open himself more to him, to let the younger have everything. Fuck, Himchan wanted to right then. He gasped out a name he refused to identify as Junhong’s, chest heaving as hot liquid dirtied his boxers and coated his hand. 

His chest heaved and his legs were wobbly as he hurried to the bathroom, stripping off the dirtied underwear and cleaning himself. Had he really just…? Leaning back against the sink, he scrubbed at his face. How could he…? Fuck.

.....

Junhong smiled at the text, ignoring the brevity of it and seeing only the fact that Himchan was still talking to him. He hadn’t ruined things. 

 

*~*~*

 

 

Himchan’s brow furrowed at the message, and he ignored the jump of his pulse. It was just Junhong, just the kid he had known since he was in elementary school. 

 

He turned back to his work when there was no immediate response. Junhong was probably in one of his classes, which only made Himchan feel worse about his fantasy days before. He hadn’t seen Junhong in person since the blowjob, and he sure as hell hadn’t relayed to him the fantasy that had played out in his bedroom the same night. He hadn’t told him of the fleeting memories that seemed to creep up on him throughout the day, making him flush with heat and his heart beat faster for no apparent reason. No, he hadn’t told the younger any of that, and he had no intention to do so.

“Why are you so red?” Himchan jumped as his friend and coworker, Youngjae, dropped into the seat next to him. He glanced quickly at his phone to make sure the message wasn’t pulled up on the screen.

“N-no reason. What are you doing over here?” he questioned, glancing over a report he pulled from his desk, pretending he actually knew what it was he was looking at. Normally he would, but after Junhong’s text he couldn’t seem to focus on anything else.

Youngjae rested his chin in his hand, smiling at Himchan strangely. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush. You’re adorable.”

“I’m not blushing. I’m just…it’s hot in here today.” That may have been a good excuse if his phone hadn’t buzzed at that moment, sending heat back to his cheeks as he automatically reached for it, forgetting his audience. His lower lip was caught between his teeth as his cheeks colored even more, eyes rereading the message over again, pulse speeding even as he tried to calm himself back down. He locked his phone without replying, turning his eyes to the monitor, staring at nothing, struggling to figure out how he was supposed to respond. 

“Himchan?” He startled, head jerking around to see Youngjae watching him, eyebrow quirked inquisitively. Himchan had forgotten his presence. A slow grin spread across the younger man’s lips, eyes darting to the phone then back to Himchan. “Boyfriend?”

Himchan could feel himself flush all over again. “No!”

Youngjae smirked, both brows raised at his reaction. “New lover?”

“No!” Himchan squeaked, just the word bringing images back to his mind. Fuck. 

“Who is it then? Cause judging from your reaction it’s not no one.” Youngjae pressured, laughing when he reached for the phone and Himchan knocked his hand away, moving his phone out of reach.

“It’s no one! It’s just—“ Himchan nearly growled at how flustered Junhong’s message made him, running a hand awkwardly through his hair, undoing all the careful work he had done that morning. “It’s just Junhong.”

“Junhong? I know that name.” Himchan could only hope Youngjae had forgotten who Junhong was, but luck was not on his side. His head tilted as he tried to remember, and then recognition dawned on Youngjae’s face. “Jackass Yongguk’s little brother.” Suddenly his gaze was sharper, studying Himchan as the elder shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “Why are you blushing at Junhong’s text?”

He leaned in, reaching for the phone again, suspicious now, but Himchan grabbed the phone, holding it out of his reach. “Ya, ya, ya, hands off! Not your property.”

“Are you dating him?” Youngjae demanded, still trying to reach his phone.

“No! Now would you quit before we get in trouble?” Himchan hissed, glancing around for their manager. 

The mention of the manager had Youngjae settling back down in the chair next to Himchan’s, eyes narrowed at him. “So what’s going on with you and Junhong? Are you still sleeping with Yongguk?”

“I…” Himchan paused, considering what he should say. What could he say? It didn’t matter what he said. As long he was honest he sounded like a whore. His tongue darted out to wet his lips before he continued with a shrug. “I did, a few days ago. And the next morning Junhong, he…shit, I don’t know, he was upset because Yongguk left again without a word and then he just, he—he gave me a blowjob and told me I deserve better and just…I don’t know.”

He looked over at the silence to see Youngjae staring at him in shock, mouth agape. After a minute of collecting himself Youngjae finally managed to speak. “And Junhong’s text?”

Himchan frowned, staring at his phone for a moment before replying. “He wants to take me on a date.”

Youngjae was staring again as Himchan glanced over. “You should go.”

Himchan choked on his own saliva, staring at Youngjae, eyes wide. “What?”

“He’s right, you do deserve better than asshat Yongguk. He’s a little younger than I would have recommended but since you’ve already got a, um, connection thing going...why not?” Youngjae shrugged, grinning at him. “What have you got to lose?”

Himchan shook his head, returning to staring at his computer screen. He wasn’t fast enough when Youngjae lunged forward, snatching the phone from his hand and dashing away. “Youngjae!”

The younger was grinning when he reached him, easily tossing his phone back to him. “He’ll be by to pick you up at six.”

“Youngjae, what the fu—“

“Himchan, Youngjae! Get back to work.” With a last scathing look to the still grinning younger Himchan slunk back to his desk, opening his text messages to see the message Youngjae had sent Junhong, his stomach dropping and heart jumping. 

 

He groaned, dropping his head forward onto his desk. He couldn’t very well text him back and say Youngjae had sent it. What the hell was he going to do?

…..

Himchan stood in front of his mirror, scrutinizing his outfit. A simple white graphic V-neck and tight black skinny jeans was what he had finally settled on. Was this too casual? He didn’t even know what Junhong had planned. His heart was racing, nervous and scared of what was to come. He hadn’t seen Junhong since the blowjob. How was he supposed to act? He grabbed a blazer from his closet just in case Junhong had more upscale plans. 

Knocking at the door had him jumping, stomach churning nauseously. He swallowed hard, surveying himself once more before heading for the door. Stopping with his hand on the door, he took a few deep breaths, struggling to calm his nerves. He could get through this – whatever this was. Finally he pulled the door open, breath catching in his throat as he took in the younger man. He certainly cleaned up well. Tight black jeans hugged his legs, making them appear even longer, and a simple black button up with small chain adornments on the pockets hugged his form just loosely enough to give Himchan’s imagination enough room to indulge. Himchan swallowed hard again, his mouth dry and full of cotton. Fuck, he looked sexy, and Himchan didn’t have any idea what to do with a sexy Junhong.

“You ready to go?” Junhong asked, a smile playing on his lips. 

“Y-Youngjae’s the one that texted you back. It wasn’t me.” He blurted out, unplanned. His hand still clutched the door, heart racing so quickly he felt slightly dizzy.

Junhong paused, glancing away before returning his gaze to Himchan. “Would you have said no?”

Himchan’s breath hitched again as Junhong’s eyes bore into his, not angry, just questioning and so intense he felt like he could feel the man in his bones. “I…don’t know.”

Junhong’s eyes raked over him, taking in the blazer in hand, lips stretching into a smile. “You’re dressed, though. Will you come out with me anyway?”

No. “Yes.”

……

“You really had nothing planned beyond dinner?” Himchan asked, voice light, almost playful. He was much calmer now, after realizing that this was almost just like hanging out with Junhong on a normal day except it wasn’t. There was an underlying current of tension and no talk of Yongguk, but other than that everything was normal. Junhong hadn’t hesitated to grab his hand when they entered the park, and Himchan was surprised how well they fit together. His skin was warm against his own, sending a not quite alarming tingle up his arm. 

“Eh, I wanted it to flow. The park is always good to relax in, and I thought maybe you would want somewhere relaxing. Besides,” Junhong said, looking up as he spun in a circle, smiling. “The stars are coming out, and it’s perfect weather. Is there something else you want to do?”

Himchan chewed on his lower lip, watching Junhong, studying his profile. There was something different about him when he wasn’t having to hold Himchan together and make sure he was okay. Not bad different, just…different. He was more carefree, smiling, and confident. He hadn’t noticed before just how gorgeous the younger was, skin flawless and lips just the right amount of plush. Had he always been this way? He found himself smiling. “No, this is good.”

Junhong pulled him to an open spot where the trees didn’t block their view, letting go of his hand to spread the large blanket he had brought with him. Himchan couldn’t help but laugh at the cheesy romance movies it brought to mind, but Junhong shushed him, telling him he was welcome to park his ass in the grass if he didn’t like his preparation. He went to do just that, yelping when Junhong pulled him down onto the blanket with him, making him fall on top of him. He froze, staring down at the younger, their lips only a breadth apart. His heart was racing and his mind was doing the same, running through everything that could possibly be ruined if he kissed the man beneath him. 

His eyes fluttered as a hand reached up, palm gliding over his jaw. Junhong’s warm breath ghosted over his lips when he spoke. “Are you going to freak out if I kiss you?”

Himchan’s breath was coming in shorter almost pants. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, Junhong’s eyes falling to trace the movement. “No.”

He gasped as he was rolled onto his back, Junhong hovering above him, his weight pressing down against him, surprisingly comfortable. His head dipped, catching Himchan’s lips in a soft kiss. It didn’t matter what misgivings he had had before this date; they were gone. Himchan sighed against Junhong’s lips, responding to him, moving his lips against the younger’s. Junhong drew back, thumb caressing Himchan’s flesh as he gazed down at him. A soft smile crossed his lips as he nuzzled their noses together. “I’m glad you came, ChanChan.”

A shiver raced up Himchan’s spine at the look in Junhong’s eyes. He was so intense and genuine, and he really wanted him, wanted to spend time with him. Himchan couldn’t believe he had been so stupid for so long. “Me too.”

Sliding his hand to the nape of the younger’s neck he pulled him back down, catching his lips again. This kiss was less chaste than the last, the next even less, until they were both breathing heavily and their touches were no longer suitable for the openness of the park.

……

“I’m not going to fuck you, Himchan.” Junhong’s lips dragged across Himchan’s abdomen as he spoke, continuing to press kisses to the heated flesh between words. His hand still stroked Himchan’s hard length, the slow pace driving Himchan insane. “This is all about you.”

Himchan whined, Junhong’s words sending even more heat racing through him. His fingers tugged at Junhong’s hair even as his abdomen jumped beneath Junhong’s mouth. Junhong’s fingers were calloused and rough against his unlubricated flesh, sending conflicting waves of pain and pleasure through him that made him want to buck up into his hand or beg him to move faster. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want more, that he wasn’t curious how the younger man would feel inside him. “Wh-what if I ask you to?”

He gasped as wet heat traced up the length of his dick, his fingers tightening in Junhong’s hair, thighs falling farther apart to allow the man more room. Junhong’s mouth closed around him, wet and hot and divine, taking him in, throat tight around him. He didn’t stop him when his hips bucked up, driving his dick deeper into his mouth, down his throat. Junhong moaned around him, the vibrations sending electricity burning through him, his body trembling beneath the younger man. Fuck, how did they get here from one simple date? It wasn’t enough. Himchan whimpered as he writhed beneath him, needing something more. He jerked at Junhong’s hair harshly, forcing him to release his dick and crawl back up his body. 

Himchan swallowed hard, eyes fluttering shut as the younger’s mouth worked at his neck, teeth nipping at the sensitive flesh directly below his ear. “Junhongie, please, n-not enough.”

“What do you want?” Pleasure rolled through him at the sound of Junhong’s deep voice in his ear. 

His fingers clawed at the younger’s shirt, aggravated he couldn’t even dig his nails into the man’s flesh. “I don’t know. Something…I want something else.”

“I can’t read your mind, ChanChan. You have to tell me what you want.” Junhong’s hand was back on him, back to stroking him at a leisurely pace as though Himchan wasn’t falling apart beneath him.

“I-inside…me. I want…” Himchan struggled with the words, the fact Junhong was Yongguk’s younger brother still creating doubt and chaos in his mind though the last couple hours had done much to dispel most of it. Dark eyes focused on him, making him feel as though the younger could see straight through him. “I want you.”

Fingers grazed his cheek, the moment suddenly heavy between them. “I’m not Yongguk. I’m not into fucking and running.”

Himchan stared at him, studying his features closely. He debated his words, knowing his response would determine the future between them. He swallowed hard, pulse racing as he slid his fingers through the younger’s hair. “I didn’t ask you to run.”

“Be sure, Himchan. You can’t just throw me away if you change your mind.” Fingers brushed the younger’s cheek, cupping his face. 

“Junhong, I want you.” Junhong only hesitated a moment before catching Himchan’s lips, the simple kiss sending heat searing through him. Himchan didn’t push him away or draw back, instead tilting his face up to deepen it, fingers burying in his hair to draw him closer. Still, he couldn’t give in just yet. He couldn’t bring himself to give everything to Himchan until he was sure the man had made his choice, not because he was lonely or desperate but because he actually knew what and who he wanted.

“Not this time, ChanChan. Anything else you want, name it, and it’s yours.” He breathed reluctantly against the elder’s lips, thumb circling soothingly on the man’s hip.

Himchan’s breath shuddered over his lips, and the tears he could make out in the elder’s eyes tore at his heart. “Why?”

“I want to know it’s me.” Junhong answered, raining kisses over Himchan’s face, desperately trying to ensure the man knew he wasn’t rejecting him.


	3. Chapter 3

“Himchan, are you working?”

“No.” A glance up had him jerking in surprise, dropping his phone next to his keyboard. “I meant yes, sir.”

His supervisor narrowed his eyes at him, the smirk on his lips on full display. “Are you really going to make me have to enforce the cell phone policy?”

“No, sir.” Himchan mumbled, shooting a glare Youngjae’s direction when he snickered.

“That goes for you, too, Youngjae. Don’t think I haven’t seen you over there hunched over yours like a high school chick with a crush.” Daehyun said loud enough for Youngjae’s ears to catch, glancing his way. 

Youngjae popped up over the cubicle wall, eyes hooded as he smiled sweetly at Daehyun. “Do you really want me to put my phone away… _sir?_ ”

Himchan blanched when Daehyun’s face flushed red. He shot his hands up before they could continue. “Stop, stop, stop, I don’t want to hear about your all’s little kinks! We’re working.”

Youngjae snorted, rolling his eyes at Himchan before he disappeared back behind the wall between them. 

“As you were, gentleman… _minus_ the phones!” Daehyun snapped when Himchan’s hand extended for his. Himchan sighed, dropping his hands to his keyboard instead, oh so maturely sticking his tongue out at his boss’ back when he turned away. He grumbled about exposing his and Youngjae’s little extracurricular activities. A few minutes passed where he worked diligently, only glancing at Daehyun’s office every couple minutes to ensure he wasn’t coming back out, and then he was grabbing his phone again, shooting off a text to Junhong. Daehyun wouldn’t enforce the cell phone policy – if he did he couldn’t exchange the dirty texts Himchan knew he and Youngjae exchanged on a near daily basis.

Seconds later he was dropping his phone and slamming his head against his desk, fanning himself. God, Junhong was so fucking dirty sometimes, and it turned Himchan on so fucking much. Fuck. He shifted in his chair, trying to relieve the sudden pressure in his pants.

**Himchan: Stop that!**

**Junhong: Do you really want me to? I think you love the way my mouth feels around your cock, wet and hot. How hard do you want me to suck, ChanChan?**

Fucking Christ, this kid. Himchan groaned, drawing Youngjae’s attention. The younger stuck his head around the wall, worried. “You okay?”

“No.” Himchan whimpered, another shiver shooting down his spine just at the vibration signaling he had another text. 

“What is wrong with you?”

“He’s evil!” He whined, holding the phone up for Youngjae to see. 

Youngjae whistled when he read over the texts. “Holy shit. The kid is dirty.”

“I know!” Himchan whined pitifully. “He’s torturing me just because I’ve been too busy for us to get together.”

Youngjae hummed sympathetically before dropping the phone back on the desk. “That small storage room in the back by Daehyun’s office has a locking door. Go have some good ol’ phone sex. Give the poor kid something.”

Himchan stared at Youngjae, mouth agape. “Oh my god.”

*~*~*

“Oh my god,” Himchan whined, turning his face into Junhong’s neck, trying to shield his eyes. “Why did you make me come to this?”

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he frowned as he pulled it out to see who it was though he was certain who it was already. Even though he didn’t answer he could feel Junhong tense up behind him, but he said nothing about his brother’s name flashing across the screen. Himchan shoved the phone back in his pocket after rejecting the call yet again, and Junhong’s lips were against his ear. “The idea of you clinging to me adorably seemed good.” 

Junhong chuckled as Himchan jerked, burying his face back in the crook of his neck when a woman on the screen screamed. Yongguk forgotten, he thought about smacking Junhong in retaliation, but then considered the possibility he might pull away and abandon him to the movie. 

“You’re an ass.” He settled with, turning to lean back against Junhong’s side, pulling one of the younger’s large hands over to cover his eyes. Warm breath ghosted over his neck when Junhong leaned closer, other arm slipping around him. Lips slid along his skin, and his breath hitched as tendrils of heat unfurled inside him. He shifted, catching his lower lip between his teeth as Junhong continued, tongue darting out to flick over his pulse before drawing the patch of skin into his mouth, teeth scraping over the sensitive flesh. Fuck, why did he do this? He swallowed the moan that bubbled up, turning his head towards Junhong, his nose grazing the younger’s cheek, his whisper strained. “Stop that.”

“Or what?” Junhong countered before dipping his head, catching Himchan’s lips before he had time to pull away. He wanted to melt into the younger, to forget about everyone else in the theater and just fall into him, clinging and soaking up everything Junhong was willing to give. Everything seemed to fall away when Junhong touched him, even if just a kiss like this. Just a few weeks in and he was drunk on Junhong. Calloused fingers slid over his neck, pulling him closer, his mouth turning more earnest beneath the younger’s. A throat cleared behind them, and Junhong drew back, eyes cutting to the person behind them, glaring. Himchan’s breathing was unsteady, his face flushed in embarrassment as he ducked his head. 

He heard Junhong snap at the person, stopping only when Himchan pulled him back around front. “Don’t, Junhong. Let’s go home.”

“Jackass. Let’s go.” Himchan let Junhong pull him down the aisle and out of the theater. He was tucked beneath Junhong’s arm as they stepped outside, and he didn’t hesitate to turn his face toward the man, inhaling his scent, filling his lungs with Junhong. Drunk on Junhong indeed. His phone vibrated again, and he pulled it out, frowning. Yongguk’s name was bright on the screen. He chewed on his lower lip, debating whether he should answer or not. He had been rejecting the man’s calls all day since he had been out with Junhong, but it seemed to have not deterred him at all. 

He flushed when he felt Junhong’s arms slide around his waist, pulling his back to his chest. Warm breath slid over his neck as the younger breathed a heavy sigh, pressing a kiss to the skin beneath his ear. “You can answer that, you know.”

Himchan’s brow furrowed, and he turned to look at Junhong, hurt and confusion twisting inside him. “What?”

“I’m not your handler or your owner.” Himchan swallowed, the words cutting into him. Had he been deluding himself this entire time? He thought they were closer and that Junhong would be jealous at least. He turned his face back away, blinking rapidly against the stinging in his eyes.

“Fine,” He bit out, fingers trembling as he tried to remain calm. “Since you don’t care. Hello?”

He glared at Junhong when he was turned roughly, the younger’s eyes almost blazing. Yongguk’s voice was in his ear, telling him he was home, asking him to come over. His breath caught when Junhong yanked him forward, making it almost impossible for him to splutter out a response to Yongguk. His free hand clutched at Junhong’s shirt as the younger’s teeth tugged at his earlobe harshly, his hands hard on his hips. “That’s not what I said.”

“It is what you said!” Himchan hissed at him, barely registering Yongguk’s words on the phone. “What? Oh, nothing, Guk. I’m on a date.”

“I _meant_ I’m not going to tell you who you can and can’t talk to, not that I didn’t care.” Junhong explained, his voice hushed and whispered so Yongguk wouldn’t hear though everything in him demanded that Yongguk know it was him Himchan was throwing him aside for. 

“Ditch him and come over?” Himchan repeated, arching an eyebrow at Junhong, pleasure spreading through him at the thunderous look on the younger’s face. The fingers on his hips bit harder into his flesh. 

Himchan whimpered as he was pressed back against the side of a building, Junhong’s body molded to him. A large hand grasped his ass, his hips jerking forward in surprise. Junhong’s voice brooked no argument when he growled, deep and authoritative, sending heat spiraling through Himchan. “Hang up.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” He snapped back despite his desire to do exactly as Junhong ordered. This was a side of Junhong he hadn’t seen before, had never even glimpsed, and it had him hard and aching between his legs before he had even been touched. Still, he couldn’t immediately give in. He didn’t get a chance, the phone snatched from his fingers. He watched Junhong press it to his ear, his eyes daring him to contradict him. 

“He has a boyfriend. Fuck off.” His phone was shoved back in his pocket after the call was ended, but Junhong still crowded him, refusing to let him wriggle free even if he wanted to do so. He didn’t. The possessive tone and touch of his hands on his body made Himchan want to do whatever the man requested and beg for more. He was burning up from the inside out, and it was all due to Junhong.

Himchan tugged on the front of Junhong’s shirt, leaning forward to nuzzle against his neck almost desperately. “Come home with me tonight.”

“Why, ChanChan, are you asking me to stay the night?” 

Himchan smacked Junhong’s stomach, growling and nipping sharply at his neck, leaving a bright red mark behind. Now was no time for games. He needed the man, needed him to touch him, to taste him, to assuage this relentless pressure and heat that continued to weigh on him. “Don’t be a dick. I missed you, and you just scared the shit out of me.”

It was true. Due to work he hadn’t been able to accept any of the times Junhong had proposed they went out for the past week and a half, and he found himself longing for the other man during every slow moment as the days passed. Every text had a goofy smile pasted on his face no matter how dumb it was. Junhong seemed to freeze at his words, his mouth no longer working at Himchan’s neck, pulling a whine from the elder. A glance at him revealed the somber expression, causing Himchan to pull up short. His gaze was intense, but his hands were less harsh as one rose to brush fingers across his cheek. “Did you really?”

Junhong’s voice was solemn and deep, sending a flutter through Himchan, even through the aching need that had pulsed inside him just seconds ago. He had the feeling that his answer held the key to their future, and the thought alone made him nervous. He wouldn’t lie, though. “Very much.”

He was confused when Junhong seemed relieved, and his head dropped, not to kiss him but just rest his head against Himchan’s. Had he expected a different answer? Did he think he was lying? This entire time? He sighed, nudging his nose against Junhong’s. “Let’s go, Junhongie.”

“I have to go by my place to get some clothes.” He murmured, finally seeming to break free from his thoughts, hands falling to Himchan’s side and pulling him closer. Himchan tilted his face up, pressing his lips to Junhong’s, reveling in the feel of the younger’s lips against his own.

“Okay.” He breathed against Junhong’s lips before pressing against him again. Junhong’s arms tightened around him, deepening the kiss, tongue sliding along the seam of Himchan’s lips, requesting entrance. Himchan’s fingers clutched at Junhong’s shirt, his stomach flipping as the younger took control, tongue sliding along his, hands becoming more aggressive on him. A hand slid beneath his shirt, startling him, bringing him back to reality, back to the fact they were standing in the middle of a well-traveled sidewalk. “Junhong…”

Junhong grumbled but pulled back after a last, brief kiss. Himchan chewed on his lower lip as his fingers laced with Junhong’s, falling into step beside him. If that was any indication, tonight would be the night. The thought had his heart skittering wildly, and his eyes were practically glued to the man beside him.

……

“Himchan?” Himchan tensed, turning to the deep voice that used to affect him so much. Yongguk’s brow was furrowed as he gazed at him. He glanced toward Junhong’s room, but the door was still closed as Junhong packed a bag. “You decided to come over?”

“Ah, not really.” He murmured, rubbing awkwardly at the nape of his neck. He chewed his lower lip for a minute, trying to figure out how to tell him why he was there. “I was, um, with…Junhong.”

Yongguk frowned. “Didn’t you say you were on a date?”

“Yeah…” His voice was so quiet he wasn’t sure the other man heard him. 

“How long has that been going on?” Yongguk questioned, his intense stare intimidating Himchan. Was he mad? His face was blank, and Himchan couldn’t read him.

“A little over a month. Maybe almost two.” 

“Good for him.” Yongguk finally murmured, catching Himchan off guard.

Good for…Junhong? Why would he say that? “What?” 

“He’s been in love with you for years. I’m glad he finally got the balls to say something.” Yongguk shrugged while Himchan struggled to draw air into his lungs. He felt as though he had just been kicked in the gut, mind spinning as he tried to process his words. How could he just say that like it was nothing important? How _long_ had Junhong felt that way? Why didn’t he say anything before? Yongguk knew and said nothing. Himchan’s heart ached at the thought of how Junhong must have felt every time he showed up for Yongguk. His eyes locked on Yongguk.

“You knew this, and you still paraded me around in front of him? Do you have any idea how much that must have _hurt_ him? What kind of person does that, Yongguk? You’re supposed to be his brother and protect him!” Himchan snapped, anger beating at him. Alarmed, Yongguk reached out only for Himchan to slap his hand away, disgusted. “You’re a despicable human being, Yongguk. How the hell was I so head-over-heels for you for so long?”

“Himchan?” Junhong questioned as he entered the living room, glancing between the two men. Himchan’s face was flushed, but Yongguk’s was pale like he couldn’t remember ever seeing before. “What’s going on?”

“We were just clarifying things.” Himchan struggled to reply, reaching out to catch Junhong’s hand and pull him towards the door. Junhong followed after a last confused glance to Yongguk, his eyes locking on Himchan’s back. 

“Hey.” Junhong pulled Himchan to a stop once they reached the car, tilting his head in question. “What was that about?”

Himchan chewed on his lower lip, worried. Would Junhong hate him for yelling at Yongguk like that? “Can we talk about it at home instead?”

Junhong sighed but nodded, pulling Himchan in close to press a kiss to his forehead. “Sure.”

……..

The sexual tension that had permeated the air between them earlier was now gone, Himchan’s nerves far too frayed. The car ride had been uncomfortably silent, and he hadn’t been able to figure out what to say. Why hadn’t Junhong said anything to him before? Maybe Yongguk was lying. Or maybe he just thought Junhong liked him all that time. If he did, though, why didn’t Junhong hate him? Why had he stayed with him every day after Yongguk left him? Himchan didn’t think he could be any tenser when Junhong dropped his bag just inside his door. He felt like a horrible human being himself for not knowing about Junhong’s feelings and being oblivious to the pain Junhong would have been going through.

“I’m sorry.” He offered softly, unable to turn and look at Junhong.

Junhong’s arms came around him, and he couldn’t refrain from leaning back against him, eyes falling shut as he soaked in the warmth from his body. His warm breath sent a shiver down his spine when he spoke. “For what? What’s going on, Himchan?”

Himchan sighed, turning his face into Junhong’s neck and linking his fingers with Junhong’s. “Yongguk told me something.”

He could feel Junhong tense behind him, but he didn’t pull away. “What?”

“That you’ve been in love with me for years.” Silence stretched between them, Himchan aching for Junhong to just say _something_. He would take anything that could tell him what the younger man was thinking, but he was getting nothing. He couldn’t take it. “Is it true?”

Junhong’s fingers tightened on his own. “That doesn’t explain why you’re apologizing.”

Himchan frowned. That wasn’t an answer. “And that doesn’t answer the question.”

“Yes. Your turn.” Junhong breathed against his ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I’m sorry you had to stay with me every time Yongguk left. I don’t understand why you never said anything. Why didn’t you tell me? It had to hurt.” Himchan murmured, leaning more heavily back against Junhong, butterflies alive in his stomach.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I do love you, Himchan.” Again Himchan was left feeling as though he had been kicked in the gut, the frank words hitting him hard. God, he really was a horrible person. 

“I’m sorry I was such an idiot. I put you through that, and I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry.” He replied, turning in the younger’s arms to wrap his arms around his neck and lift his face to press their lips together. Junhong’s arms were around him, pulling him close as their mouths fit together perfectly. Himchan felt almost desperate as he pressed against Junhong, needing to somehow make up for all the pain he had unknowingly caused over the years. He wasn’t sure how but he would. 

“J-Junhong…” He gasped as Junhong pressed him into the mattress, warm flesh sliding against warm flesh, Junhong’s mouth marking his neck as Himchan clutched at him, fingers digging into his shoulders. 

“Hm?” Junhong murmured, fingers of one hand gliding up Himchan’s ribs as he continued to trail kisses over his shoulder, teeth nipping at his collarbone. 

“Just…in case you’re wondering…” Himchan murmured, back arching up into Junhong’s touch, fingers burying in the younger’s hair to press his mouth closer. “I love you, too.”

He whined at the abrupt removal of Junhong’s mouth and the sudden stillness of his body, no longer grinding down against him. Instead fingers were ghosting over his cheek, and Junhong was pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “You don’t have to say it back. It’s okay.”

Himchan frowned, smacking his side. “I’m not saying it because I think I have to, idiot. I’m saying I love you because I fucking love you. Christ.”

Junhong chuckled, trapping Himchan’s hands beside his head. “Fine, ChanChan, I believe you.”

“You better.” Himchan grumbled.

“I’ll show you.” Junhong whispered against his ear, shivers racing down Himchan’s spine at the sultry tone. The next roll of Junhong’s hips had Himchan melting against him again, whimpering beneath the younger’s touch.

Himchan’s pulse raced, skittering wildly as he chewed his lower lip and sat up, pushing Junhong’s shirt upward. He moved closer, pressing Junhong back onto his knees, dipping his head to rain kisses over the younger’s abdomen, tongue darting out to swirl sensually over the heated skin. He followed the shirt higher, nibbling on Junhong’s flesh, relishing the jump of the other’s muscles beneath his hands. Junhong finally pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it blindly to the side, a pleased gasp escaping as Himchan’s mouth closed around a hardened nipple. Teeth tugged gently at the sensitive bud, and Junhong buried a hand in Himchan’s hair, pressing him closer. “Fuck, ChanChan…”

Himchan dropped his hands to the younger’s belt, working it open as he trailed his mouth over his chest, the sounds from Junhong spurring him into lavishing the same attention to the other side. He was forced to draw back when Junhong drew his shirt over his head, discarding it somewhere on the floor with his own. He glanced up as he tugged at Junhong’s jeans, breath catching in his throat as he pulled them over the younger’s hips. The younger was watching him, dark eyes intense and filled with lust, fanning the flames burning low in Himchan’s abdomen, driving him on, making him even more eager. Abruptly he felt as though all the air had been knocked from his lungs, and he paused in his movement, staring at Junhong. Himchan didn’t think he had ever realized before just how much he needed Junhong and not just sexually. Junhong was his one constant, the only thing that kept him stable when everything was falling apart. Junhong was just… _it._ Maybe he was everything.

“I really love you.” Even to his own ears he sounded surprised and amazed. 

Junhong’s brow quirked up, mouth curling up at the corner. Fingers grazed over Himchan’s cheek, and he leaned into the touch. “Yeah, I kind of thought you said that before.” 

“Yeah, I did, but—I mean, I do but I just…” Himchan swallowed, choking on the emotion suddenly clogging his throat and his chest, and _fuck,_ he couldn’t fucking breathe right. “I _really_ —“

Junhong’s smile softened, less amused, more indulgent and comforting. “I know, ChanChan.” 

Junhong’s mouth was back on his, lips brushing over his own slow and gentle, each move intentional and filled with more than Himchan thought possible. Himchan whimpered as he was laid back slowly, Junhong’s weight pressing him into the mattress, warm, safe, and building the heat already suffusing his body to an inferno Himchan was sure would burn him alive from the inside out. Junhong’s tongue glided over the seam of his lips, and he didn’t hesitate to grant entrance, a low moan bubbling up as their tongues danced together, a sensual dance that had fog descending over Himchan’s mind. The younger’s back was smooth beneath his hands, the muscles bunching and moving beneath his fingers. 

“I want to feel you.” He murmured against Junhong’s lips, the ache inside him to be closer to Junhong in every way possible growing with every gentle touch, every pass of his thumb over his jawline, every brush of his fingers through his hair. He needed Junhong buried deep inside him, needed to know he was the one Junhong needed, too. This was nothing he thought he could have been prepared for, not these feelings that seemed to consume him, overwhelming his senses and making him needy and clingy.

His breath shuddered as Junhong climbed back between his legs after discarding of both their pants. Fingers were caressing his cheek again, Junhong’s mouth soft against his own. He whimpered against his lips as the first finger pressed inside him, the sensation slightly strange after two months of nothing. Only seconds passed before he was pressing back against Junhong’s hand, pleading with him for more, for _him._ Slowly Junhong worked him open, nipping and sucking claiming marks over his flesh, scattering them over his neck and chest, and Himchan felt only pleasure at Junhong’s claiming, pleased he wouldn’t mind everyone knowing who had left them. Already his muscles quivered, a sweat slicked mess in the younger’s arms, but he clung tighter, hips jerking at every pass of Junhong’s fingers over the sensitive area inside him. “P-Please, Junhong…oh god, please…”

Then Junhong was pressing inside him, his head pressing back into the pillow as his body was so deliciously stretched around the man’s cock. Nails clawed into the younger’s back as he withdrew and thrust back inside him at an agonizingly slow pace. Himchan whined and whimpered, the slow drag of Junhong’s cock against the walls of his body almost too much to bear, sensations he was no longer accustomed to assailing his body. Heat and flames crawled along his skin, fanned by Junhong’s intense gaze and every pass of his calloused fingers over his burning flesh. Sweat plastered Junhong’s hair to his forehead and his face was flushed, but Himchan knew he had never seen anything more beautiful than the sight before him now.

Junhong’s fingers laced with his own, pressing his hands into the mattress above his head, swiveling his hips just right to tear a cry from Himchan’s throat, his back arching from the pleasure shooting through him. Warm breath ghosted over his ear, Junhong’s husky voice so close enough to send another spasm through his body. “Come for me, ChanChan. I’ve got you; I won’t let go.”

Himchan whimpered, clinging to the younger, burying his face in the crook of Junhong’s neck. The hands on his own tightened their grip and kisses pressed against his temple and hair, soft, gentle, loving, and Himchan couldn’t hold on any longer, crying out as his body shuddered, warm liquid coating his and Junhong’s abdomen. 

“Fuck…” Junhong breathed the word against his skin, then his pace stuttered. Himchan moaned softly as Junhong buried himself deep inside his body, the younger’s body shuddering as his cock twitched inside him, the warmth filling him giving him an entirely new feeling of completion he couldn’t help but wonder if it was weird for feeling.

Junhong rolled to the side, pulling Himchan with him. Both their chests rose and fell rapidly as they came down from their high, eyes roaming over one another’s faces. Himchan reached out to brush the younger’s hair back from his forehead, lips tilting up into a smile. His voice was hardly above a whisper when he spoke. “Thank you.”

Junhong grinned playfully. “For what? Being good in bed? You’re welcome.”

“No!” Himchan laughed, smacking the younger’s chest. “I meant tha—“

“No need to say thank you for things I can’t change anyway if I had wanted to.” Why did he have to phrase it that way? His eyes burned for a moment with unshed tears at Junhong’s easy acceptance of his stupidity and things as they were and wished he could do the same. He would probably be stuck on things for a while, but then Junhong’s lips were back on his and things didn’t seem quite so important. 

*~*~*

_Six weeks later…_

“Morning.”

The deep voice startled Himchan, but he turned to Yongguk with a small smile, pulling Junhong’s robe tighter around him. “Hey. Junhong’s still sleeping. When did you get in?”

At Junhong’s insistence Himchan had slowly moved past Yongguk’s callousness toward his own brother, though they were nowhere near as close friends as they had once been. Honestly, Himchan had to admit that was more likely due to the way Yongguk had treated him after all their years of friendship than how Yongguk had treated Junhong or maybe it was a bit of both. Either way he wasn’t sure they would ever reach the same level of trust again.

“About midnight. Think you guys were a little too busy to hear me come in.” Himchan flushed scarlet at having been caught. He and Junhong hadn’t gone to bed until after one, and they hadn’t been watching television or playing board games. Even now the pleasurable ache in his body when he shifted just so sent heat pulsing through him. Yongguk’s eyes roamed over his face for a few moments, making Himchan wonder if he had something on his face. “You’re beautiful; it’s like you’re almost glowing. Have you always looked like this the morning after?”

Himchan sipped at his coffee, a small smile gracing his lips. He shook his head, looking back to Yongguk, still smiling softly. “No, this is all Junhong’s mornings.”

“Hey, ChanChan,” Junhong emerged from his room, towel wrapped around his hips. He was already drawing Himchan into a lingering kiss when he noticed Yongguk. “Hey, Guk. When did you get home?”

“Last night.” Yongguk replied, eyes still on Himchan. Himchan was beginning to feel paranoid, wiping a hand over his face to clear off anything that may be the cause of Yongguk’s staring. Still nothing. Well then…pressing his lips into a thin line he turned to Junhong.

“I’m going to go get ready for work.” He told him, pressing a brief kiss to his lips.

“You have to? You could always stay home with me again.” Junhong waggled his eyebrows, and Himchan laughed, pressing a kiss to the younger’s lips.

“I have meetings today or I would.” Himchan breathed, head tilting to allow Junhong’s mouth better access to his neck, his fingers tightening in his hair. Junhong always reverted to this when he wanted to get his way, knowing Himchan’s neck was sensitive and just where to touch and tease. It was wholly unfair.

“If you really have to…” Junhong murmured, scraping his teeth over Himchan’s pulse, lips tilting up into a smile at the small intake of breath he wasn’t sure Himchan even noticed. 

Himchan caved as the shoulder of the robe he wore was pushed aside, sighing as Junhong’s head dipped to nibble at his collar bone and he was easily lifted onto the table behind him. “I’m giving you half a day. Meetings in the afternoon can’t be rescheduled.”

“Don’t worry, baby, I’ll make it count.” Himchan didn’t doubt his words either. A quick glance around indicated Yongguk had fled, presumably to his room, and Himchan didn’t have words to explain the relief he felt at the man’s absence. The only people needed now was he and Junhong. 


End file.
